Vol.165No. 1
Restrictions on student life from the top brass at Notre Dame...
In a Second Coming earlier than any theologians could have predicted, our Lord and Savior, Jesus H. Christ, appeared at the semifinals of Bengal Bouts during the week of Feb. 26.
America is abuzz with Winter Olympics fever, the one time every four years they can pretend to care about frolicking in the snow as if it were sport.
What started off as a fun scrimmage game between the men’s and women’s varsity basketball teams last week took a turn when the men’s team was unable to score a single basket.
Last month, over 1,000 Notre Dame students traveled to Washington, D.C. for the annual March for Life.
Hey, have you noticed that new monolith on the south end of campus?
In a recent email that shocked the student body, the Office of the President unveiled plans to create a new research facility on campus.
The most shocking story to emerge from Notre Dame’s recent fall break came from sophomore Emmett Conway of Stanford Hall.
According to a new study from a coalition between the Pew Research Center, the CIA and the NCAA, football is indeed a sport.
Chandler Sorin, the younger brother of Fr. Edward Sorin, has taken over the strange, geodesic dome of the Stepan Center and refuses to leave.
Disney recently released a trailer for its latest live-action movie remake; this time, the entertainment company is remaking “A Goofy Movie.” The sure-to-be blockbuster will star none other than Rev. JayJay I. Jaykins, C.S.C. as the main character, Max. Fr. Jaykins scored the role with no previous acting experience after a generous donation of 60% of the University of Notre Dame’s endowment.…
On the first day of fall, Notre Dame rolled out its latest initiative to improve student life on campus: pumpkin spice flavored water from the DeBartolo water fountains.
A report published last week by the Pew Research Center suggests that 97% of Notre Dame students who eat at North Dining Hall still have not stopped talking about the renovations.
Thanks to new dining policies on campus, students can now use multiple swipes in one meal period.
Rev. John I. Jenkins, C.S.C. announced at 4 a.m. this morning that two new retirement communities will be added as part of the university’s new housing plan.
So I did it. God posed me a challenge, and just like the time with the yogurt, I rose to meet it. I’d like to see a stupid bead of light best me. Ha! It didn’t. And when the time came and all those birds flew in front of the sun, I lifted my naked eyes and beheld it.
The full opening of the Campus Crossroads project, originally set to open in spring 2018, has now been delayed by 60 years. Duncan Student Center, Corbett Family Hall and O’Neill Hall will remain closed for the duration of the school year, according to representatives of the project.
While most students enjoyed or even celebrated the recent solar eclipse, this astronomical event has devastated the squirrel population. As of Monday’s eclipse, public health leaders of Notre Dame’s squirrel community have reported rates of blindness as high as 47%.
While appearing via satellite on the Fox News show Hannipy, Notre Dame senior James McGarrity explained that “the real world is going to be a pretty big wake up call.”
On a rare, sunny, 70-degree April day, students filled the quads to enjoy the weather and to demonstrate to one another how many sport balls they could throw.
“There it was — JESUS H. CHRIST — in some crazy gold cursive script."
For a million years we’ve invited the President of the United States to come speak at your graduation (YOU’RE WELCOME), and you made me break that tradition.
The 2017 Keenan revue was another successful show full of witty jokes, biting satire and half-naked men.
We conservatives are proud supporters of the First Amendment.
The day was magnificent, and nothing could bring us down. Until we saw the homeless man.
South Bend Mayor Pete Bootijudge quietly asked Thursday whether anyone else had noticed that Notre Dame students had been talking about him kind of a lot lately.
Remember Sia dude?
Shortly after Rev. JayJay I. Jaykins, C.S.C.’s announcement that Vice President Mark Pencil would be speaking at the class of 2017’s commencement, an online petition began circulating to reverse the decision and rescind Pencil’s invitation.
BASEMENT, SOUTH DINING HALL — In the early hours of Sunday morning, the Obscurer staff huddled around their computers, making last minute tweaks before submitting their latest issue in its final form.
Lenten season is underway, and it’s time to be choose what to give up and how to tell everyone you know, have ever met or driven next to on the freeway. Don’t miss these three tips to truly make the most of your metaphorical 40-days-in-the-desert.
The five stages of grief, as developed by psychologist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, are often applied to the experience of losing a loved one; however, many freshman pre-med majors have found its application to their feelings to be incredibly helpful after receiving their General Biology grades.