Yesterday, freshmen Mick Bayes and Yawny O’Fawner of Zahm House made waves when they announced that they would enter the 2020 general presidential election. Sources tell Scholastic that Bayes and O’Fawner were able to exploit a little-known bureaucratic loophole to successfully launch their campaign for president and vice president of the United States, despite not participating in any primaries and being aged 19 and 18, respectively.…

Read More

I’m sure you’re well aware at this point that Rev. JayJay Jaykins, C.S.C. has been elected to his fourth term as university president. It was a unanimous decision by the Board of Trustees. You may be asking,

‘Why was he running unopposed?’ That’s the wrong question. What you should be asking is, “Who is this Board of Trustees?” And that, my friends, is what I shall explain.…

Read More

Picture a wholesome social gathering in a dorm room on a Friday night.

Read More

In October, Notre Dame made headlines by announcing that it would host the first U.S. presidential debate in the 2020 election series.

Read More

In a recent scandal involving Notre Dame International, several students have stepped forward with complaints that their study abroad experiences did not, in fact, change their lives.

Read More

10. WALL DECORATIONS: These range from cardboard cutouts of your beverage of choice to flags that let it be known to everyone who enters the room that you’re from Boston and proud of it.

9. CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: An easy decoration you can leave up all year long without having to worry about taking it down when your parents or grandparents come to visit you. On nonparty days, they can also double as your main source of light because, let’s be honest, the main lights in the dorm room are terrible.…

Read More

Former United States Speaker of the House and current Notre Dame professor of political science Pole Ryeann has spent his first four weeks of teaching repeatedly defending his controversial decision to resign from Congress last December, completely ignoring any attempts at covering course material.

Read More

In a shocking development, the University of Notre Dame has announced a new policy banning students from all residence halls, effective immediately.

Read More

For those who have experienced the hellscape that is Welcome Weekend, no explanation is necessary. 

Read More

Move over Golden Dome, there’s a sparkly new attraction on campus: the Swarovski Crystal Helmet (as well as the Swarovski Mini Crystal Helmet and Swarovski Crystal Football, of course).

Read More

Jaykins is attempting to implement yet another lucrative policy unrelated to improving student well-being.

Read More

After the smashing success of RX Bars,introduced earlier this year, South Dining Hall is rolling out their newest addition to Grab’n Go: The RX Bar Bar.

Read More

“Though I haven’t any idea how the magic box [email] works, or how the Twitter device reaches so many people, I thoroughly enjoy being in the thick of things,” @FatherSorin said.

Read More

Ask any Notre Dame fans who attended the 2013 BCS NationalChampionship Game in Miami Gardens — hoping to witness the Irish’s first national title in a quarter-century — about that score and watch them self-destruct right before your very eyes.

Read More

In a long-held secret and strategic move, Saint Mary’s College cut ties with the University of Notre Dame earlier this month to become a completely independent academic institution, and it seems to be thriving as a result.

Read More

“I didn’t know how good I had it,” senior Mike Stemling lamented, describing his first three and a half years of hard science classes.

Read More

In a move some are calling “the biggest improvement since women were admitted,” Notre Dame Campus Dining began serving avocados in the dining halls last week.

Read More

1. The way you set a table tells a girl everything she needs to know about you.

Read More

It’s back. 22 months later, it’s back. Grab your friends, your props and your creativity because Vine is back.

Read More

In a surprising and unprecedented move, Garth Brooks added a last-minute headliner to his Notre Dame concert: none other than Notre Dame president Fr. JayJay Jaykins, C.S.C. Jaykins took to the stage amidst confused but hopeful cheers, and he did not disappoint.

Read More

Just this morning, the news broke that Notre Dame’s Snite Museum of Art, one of the premier Notre Dame museums of art, is not what we thought.

Read More

Scholastic culture editor and close personal friend of CMA Entertainer of the Year Garth Brooks Emma Ferdinandi asked me to write an article about Brooks’ on-campus fans.

Read More

Beautiful South Bend, land of river bends and terrible, terrible weather. Whether it is 4,000 degrees or minus 4,000 degrees, one thing is for sure: you have absolutely worn the wrong item.

Read More

Following the recent football games, we thought we’d finally see at least a couple of them but it seems their disappearance is permanent. As we walk freely around campus, we women wonder: Is this St. Mary’s?

Read More

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” Fr. Jaykins says. “If we keep changing our position, everyone will be happy at some point, right?” 

Read More

The latest development in this year’s student government elections came early Tuesday morning, when campus media outlets received a press release by the Judicial Council announcing another round of sanctions.

Read More

In order to restore balance to the universe following the reinstatement of Grab and Go, North Dining Hall has announced that they will no longer tolerate any eggs on their premises.

Read More

In a Second Coming earlier than any theologians could have predicted, our Lord and Savior, Jesus H. Christ, appeared at the semifinals of Bengal Bouts during the week of Feb. 26.

Read More

America is abuzz with Winter Olympics fever, the one time every four years they can pretend to care about frolicking in the snow as if it were sport.

Read More

What started off as a fun scrimmage game between the men’s and women’s varsity basketball teams last week took a turn when the men’s team was unable to score a single basket.

Read More