Humor

No Sightings in Over a Fortnite

No Sightings in Over a Fortnite

Author: Jarissa Sabal

Following the recent football games, we thought we’d finally see at least a couple of them but it seems their disappearance is permanent. As we walk freely around campus, we women wonder: Is this St. Mary’s?

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Jaykins Changes Contraceptives Policy...Again
Run-Off Election Ends After Judicial Council Reduces Votes by 100%
North Dining Hall Bans Eggs

North Dining Hall Bans Eggs

Author: Maddie Loftin

In order to restore balance to the universe following the reinstatement of Grab and Go, North Dining Hall has announced that they will no longer tolerate any eggs on their premises.

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Christ Enters the Bengal Bouts Ring
Students Wait for Fighting Ireland Delegation to Arrive at the Olympics
Women’s Basketball Beats Men’s Team by 200 Points
Duncan Student Center Breakdown
Students Call for More Homework at March for Strife
New Study Reveals Football is a Sport
Fr. Jaykins to Star in New Live-Action Remake of
Administration Reveals Plans for Useless Spending Lab
Chandler Sorin Haunts the Stepan Center
ND Student Manages to Avoid Being Condescending to Public University Student Through a Whole Conversation
Student Uses 14 Meal Swipes at Once
DeBart Water Gains New Seasonal Flavor
Father Jenkins Announces Plans for On-Campus Retirement Community
North Dining Hall Renovations Still Somehow Creating Stir
Complete Opening of Campus Crossroads Postponed until 2078
 Nearly Half of Notre Dame Squirrels Blinded by Solar Eclipse
I Looked at the Eclipse and as Penance I Have to Read Everybody's Study Abroad Blogs
Notre Dame senior enlightens classmates on what “real world” is really like
Students flock to quad on first warm day of spring, show how many balls they can throw
‘JESUS H. CHRIST’ Signature Appears on Disinvite Vice President Pencil Petition
Jaykins: I invited Pencil. Are you HAPPY NOW?
Dunne freshman learns he has high cholesterol after Keenan Revue encourages him to get checked
The Smirish Smover's guide to free speech
Three people who would win Notre Dame Hunger Games
Pete Bootijudge concerned Notre Dame students a little too obsessed with him
VIEWPOINT: Homeless people make me sad! :(