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Upon hearing the announcement that Notre Dame would be joining the Atlantic Coast Conference for the 2020 football season, Scholastic reached out to students from several ACC institutions to get their take. Boston College fans were particularly angered by the news, as most of them remained secretly embittered by being denied admission to Notre Dame as high school seniors.

“Why the ACC though? Notre Dame’s not even on the coast,” one student asked. Scholastic’s correspondent was sure to remind him that “Lake Michigan is basically the beach!” 

Another student expressed dismay at the prospect of a conference game against the Irish, having watched last year’s 7-40 loss from her dorm room.

Having Notre Dame in the conference makes the Eagles’ chances of ending a season above .500 even slimmer and reduces the team’s chances of making it back to the Birmingham Bowl, which despite what the student told us, is not “like the Rose Bowl but in Alabama.”

A group of BC freshmen said they knew Phil Jurkovitz from their economics class. When asked if they thought he would do a good job this fall, one said,“He didn’t really pull his weight in the group project, so I doubt it.” 

Scholastic pressed for details. “Won’t it be cool to watch someone from your class play in the stadium?” The only time the student had been in the stadium was for freshmen orientation. Was Phil playing in a band, he wondered?

As it turns out, no one bothered to tell the incoming class that Boston College’s stadium was used for more than school mass, the activities fair and an infamous 2013 Hoodie Allen concert. In a moment of great journalistic integrity, Scholastic’s correspondent decided to spare the group of freshmen the sure-to-be-devastating news, and wished them luck on their economics quiz.

With Boston College’s September games set to be played without spectators due to the pandemic, the freshmen may never have to find out.