Sarcastic: Grab’n Go Introduces Exciting New Feature
Sarcastic: @FatherSorin Takes over Twitter
Sarcastic: Jaykins Introduces New Football Weekend Policy
The Rigors of an Arts & Crafts Education
Saint Mary’s College cuts ties with Notre Dame and immediately becomes the superior academic institution
Dining Halls Start Serving AVOCADOS, Saving Students from Guac-Bottom Pits of Despair
10 Hot Tips to Spice Up YOUR Dining Hall Date
Father Pat McCormack Personally Funding Vine II: The Resurrection
How Can He Keep From Singing? Father Jaykins Steals the Show at Garth Brooks Concert
All’s Not Rite at the Snite
Students Discover Garth Brooks
Tips and Tricks to Beat the Weather
No Sightings in Over a Fortnite

No Sightings in Over a Fortnite

Author: Jarissa Sabal

Following the recent football games, we thought we’d finally see at least a couple of them but it seems their disappearance is permanent. As we walk freely around campus, we women wonder: Is this St. Mary’s?

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Jaykins Changes Contraceptives Policy...Again
Run-Off Election Ends After Judicial Council Reduces Votes by 100%
North Dining Hall Bans Eggs

North Dining Hall Bans Eggs

Author: Maddie Loftin

In order to restore balance to the universe following the reinstatement of Grab and Go, North Dining Hall has announced that they will no longer tolerate any eggs on their premises.

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Christ Enters the Bengal Bouts Ring
Students Wait for Fighting Ireland Delegation to Arrive at the Olympics
Women’s Basketball Beats Men’s Team by 200 Points
Students Call for More Homework at March for Strife
Duncan Student Center Breakdown
Administration Reveals Plans for Useless Spending Lab
ND Student Manages to Avoid Being Condescending to Public University Student Through a Whole Conversation
New Study Reveals Football is a Sport
Chandler Sorin Haunts the Stepan Center
Fr. Jaykins to Star in New Live-Action Remake of

Fr. Jaykins to Star in New Live-Action Remake of "A Goofy Movie"

Author: Becca Fritz

Disney recently released a trailer for its latest live-action movie remake; this time, the entertainment company is remaking “A Goofy Movie.” The sure-to-be blockbuster will star none other than Rev. JayJay I. Jaykins, C.S.C. as the main character, Max. Fr. Jaykins scored the role with no previous acting experience after a generous donation of 60% of the University of Notre Dame’s endowment.…

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Student Uses 14 Meal Swipes at Once
North Dining Hall Renovations Still Somehow Creating Stir
DeBart Water Gains New Seasonal Flavor