Sarcastic: Jaykins Introduces New Football Weekend Policy
Saint Mary’s College cuts ties with Notre Dame and immediately becomes the superior academic institution
The Rigors of an Arts & Crafts Education
Father Pat McCormack Personally Funding Vine II: The Resurrection
10 Hot Tips to Spice Up YOUR Dining Hall Date
Dining Halls Start Serving AVOCADOS, Saving Students from Guac-Bottom Pits of Despair
All’s Not Rite at the Snite
How Can He Keep From Singing? Father Jaykins Steals the Show at Garth Brooks Concert
Tips and Tricks to Beat the Weather
Students Discover Garth Brooks
No Sightings in Over a Fortnite

No Sightings in Over a Fortnite

Author: Jarissa Sabal

Following the recent football games, we thought we’d finally see at least a couple of them but it seems their disappearance is permanent. As we walk freely around campus, we women wonder: Is this St. Mary’s?

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Run-Off Election Ends After Judicial Council Reduces Votes by 100%
Jaykins Changes Contraceptives Policy...Again
North Dining Hall Bans Eggs

North Dining Hall Bans Eggs

Author: Maddie Loftin

In order to restore balance to the universe following the reinstatement of Grab and Go, North Dining Hall has announced that they will no longer tolerate any eggs on their premises.

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Christ Enters the Bengal Bouts Ring
Students Wait for Fighting Ireland Delegation to Arrive at the Olympics
Women’s Basketball Beats Men’s Team by 200 Points
Students Call for More Homework at March for Strife
Duncan Student Center Breakdown
Administration Reveals Plans for Useless Spending Lab
ND Student Manages to Avoid Being Condescending to Public University Student Through a Whole Conversation
New Study Reveals Football is a Sport
Chandler Sorin Haunts the Stepan Center
Fr. Jaykins to Star in New Live-Action Remake of

Fr. Jaykins to Star in New Live-Action Remake of "A Goofy Movie"

Author: Becca Fritz

Disney recently released a trailer for its latest live-action movie remake; this time, the entertainment company is remaking “A Goofy Movie.” The sure-to-be blockbuster will star none other than Rev. JayJay I. Jaykins, C.S.C. as the main character, Max. Fr. Jaykins scored the role with no previous acting experience after a generous donation of 60% of the University of Notre Dame’s endowment.…

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DeBart Water Gains New Seasonal Flavor
North Dining Hall Renovations Still Somehow Creating Stir
Student Uses 14 Meal Swipes at Once
Father Jenkins Announces Plans for On-Campus Retirement Community
I Looked at the Eclipse and as Penance I Have to Read Everybody's Study Abroad Blogs
 Nearly Half of Notre Dame Squirrels Blinded by Solar Eclipse