By the Numbers: Stir Crazy Edition

Author: Emma Ferdinandi

Btn Humor"


The number of times I refresh Instagram every day. No one goes anywhere, no one posts anything, but I just can't stop checking. 



How many bags of chips I ate last week. I wish it wasn’t true — but it is. 



The number of hours I have spent bingeing every season of “Game of Thrones.” I might be late to the game, but I made up for it in speed and commitment. 



The number of times I’ve had to remind myself that school isn’t optional right now. I don’t believe it quite yet, but I’ll keep trying.  



How often my parents have interrupted me during Zoom meetings. I’ve only had 13 Zoom meetings. 


Sets of pajamas I change into: my daytime and nighttime ones. 



The number of times I walk into the pantry per week before realizing that I’m bored and not hungry. Also the number of times I eat a snack even though I’m bored and not hungry. 


The number of times I’ve left my house in the last four weeks. “The Shining” is looking more and more plausible each day. 


How many ugly screenshots my friends have taken of me when my video feed freezes. I haven’t seen them yet, but I am sure the blackmail is coming. 



All of the unread emails in my inbox. I know there’s important information in there, I’m just too afraid to look. 



How many times my mom has tried to find toilet paper. Please stop buying all of the toilet paper. Please.