Sarcastic: Jaykins Introduces New Football Weekend Policy
Jaykins is attempting to implement yet another lucrative policy unrelated to improving student well-being.
Sarcastic: Selective Amnesia Wipes Loss from Collective Memory Alabama 42, Notre Dame 14.
Ask any Notre Dame fans who attended the 2013 BCS NationalChampionship Game in Miami Gardens — hoping to witness the Irish’s first national title in a quarter-century — about that score and watch them self-destruct right before your very eyes.
Sarcastic: @FatherSorin Takes over Twitter
“Though I haven’t any idea how the magic box [email] works, or how the Twitter device reaches so many people, I thoroughly enjoy being in the thick of things,” @FatherSorin said.
Sarcastic: Grab’n Go Introduces Exciting New Feature
After the smashing success of RX Bars,introduced earlier this year, South Dining Hall is rolling out their newest addition to Grab’n Go: The RX Bar Bar.
Run-Off Election Ends After Judicial Council Reduces Votes by 100%
The latest development in this year’s student government elections came early Tuesday morning, when campus media outlets received a press release by the Judicial Council announcing another round of sanctions.
Jaykins Changes Contraceptives Policy...Again
“I don’t see what the big deal is,” Fr. Jaykins says. “If we keep changing our position, everyone will be happy at some point, right?”
Notre Dame senior enlightens classmates on what “real world” is really like
While appearing via satellite on the Fox News show Hannipy, Notre Dame senior James McGarrity explained that “the real world is going to be a pretty big wake up call.”
Students flock to quad on first warm day of spring, show how many balls they can throw
On a rare, sunny, 70-degree April day, students filled the quads to enjoy the weather and to demonstrate to one another how many sport balls they could throw.
‘JESUS H. CHRIST’ Signature Appears on Disinvite Vice President Pencil Petition
“There it was — JESUS H. CHRIST — in some crazy gold cursive script."
Jaykins: I invited Pencil. Are you HAPPY NOW?
For a million years we’ve invited the President of the United States to come speak at your graduation (YOU’RE WELCOME), and you made me break that tradition.
Dunne freshman learns he has high cholesterol after Keenan Revue encourages him to get checked
The 2017 Keenan revue was another successful show full of witty jokes, biting satire and half-naked men.
VIEWPOINT: Homeless people make me sad! :(
The day was magnificent, and nothing could bring us down. Until we saw the homeless man.
Pete Bootijudge concerned Notre Dame students a little too obsessed with him
South Bend Mayor Pete Bootijudge quietly asked Thursday whether anyone else had noticed that Notre Dame students had been talking about him kind of a lot lately.
Three people who would win Notre Dame Hunger Games
Remember Sia dude?
'Jesus H. Christ' signature appears in uninvite Vice President Pencil petition
Shortly after Rev. JayJay I. Jaykins, C.S.C.’s announcement that Vice President Mark Pencil would be speaking at the class of 2017’s commencement, an online petition began circulating to reverse the decision and rescind Pencil’s invitation.
Obscurer Staff Eagerly Awaits Death of Viewpoint Author’s Social Life
BASEMENT, SOUTH DINING HALL — In the early hours of Sunday morning, the Obscurer staff huddled around their computers, making last minute tweaks before submitting their latest issue in its final form.