Sarcastic: Grab’n Go Introduces Exciting New Feature

Author: Senior Scholastic Staff

Sarcastic: Grab’n Go Introduces Exciting New Feature

After the smashing success of RX Bars,introduced earlier this year, South Dining Hall is rolling out their newest addition to Grab’n Go: The RX Bar Bar. Before, for 5 points, students could purchase “three egg whites, five cashews, four pecans, two dates and no B.S.,” inexplicably flavored “Maple Sea Salt.” But now this week, students can build their own bars! Selections at the Bar Bar include individually wrapped packages of 5 pecans, 4 cashews, 10 almonds, 14 peanuts, packets of 10 grains of salt and

small vials of 3 egg whites, in addition to fun extras like “natural flavors.” “Grab’n’go has really stepped up its game,” freshman Lisa Smallison explains, voice slightly muffled by her sticky protein bar, which has cemented her teeth shut. "I'm a pretty picky eater, and sometimes I feel like these barsjust have too many ingredients, so it’s nice to be able to just choose what I want.” Smallison’s usual choice for a Bar Bar is egg whites, pecans and a double serving of sea salt.

Ideally, students will unpackage all of their ingredients and mash them together in the spacious center aisle of SDH’s Grab’n Go. They can then take their concoction to the register, where each bar costs a mere seven points — a real steal next to Grab’n Go’s other new addition, the single blueberries also being sold for seven points!

“We have just one caveat,” explains Grab’n Go coordinator John Rhody, the genius behind the Bar Bar initiative. “We can’t provide any dates. We want students to actually go to the dining hall for those.”