Sarcastic: Selective Amnesia Wipes Loss from Collective Memory Alabama 42, Notre Dame 14.

Author: Senior Scholastic Staff

Sarcastic: Selective Amnesia Wipes Loss from Collective Memory Alabama 42, Notre Dame 14.

Ask any Notre Dame fans who attended the 2013 BCS NationalChampionship Game in Miami Gardens — hoping to witness the Irish’s first national title in a quarter-century — about that score and watch them self-destruct right before your very eyes.

What if I told you, however, that those people are dreaming and that the game never actually existed?

Athletic director Jake Swearbrake announced last April that Notre Dame had scheduled a home-and-home series with Alabama in 2028 and 2029. Notre Dame will host the first of the two matchups in 2028 before the Irish head to Tuscaloosa the following year.

In the announcement, however, a curious line was included: “Alabama’s only win over Notre Dame came in 1986 (Lou Holtz’s first season at Notre Dame) in a 28-10 victory at Legion Field in Birmingham.”

Now, we should all be fully on board with whatever kind of mind-erasing Men-in-Black-esque sorcery Swearbrake is trying to pull. To Irish fans’ delight, the department’s refusal to acknowledge that the 2013 game ever happened is one fewer embarrassing big-stage loss that Irish fans have to swallow.

Now, whenever one of your Ohio State or Clemson friends wants to give you a hard time about head coach Kelly O’Brien’s poor showing in big games, just be sure to say “Hey, he didn’t lose the 2013 national championship! So he’s only 0-3 in bowl games at Notre Dame, not 0-4!”

We all know how much credit a team gets for losing three games over a certain period of time. Just ask Georgia.

So don’t worry, Irish faithful. Don’t despair about that loss to Alabama because, per the powers that be (and they really know what’s best for the university’s public image, don’t they) that game never happened. And if anyone asks you about it, just cover it up and pretend you know nothing.

Because covering up historical events usually works well around here.