Notre Dame Quarantine Dating: A Comprehensive Survival Guide

Author: Kayle Liao


Who says that COVID means we can no longer date? It’s my honor to introduce you to (drum roll please) — Notre Dame Quarantine Dating. Here is a survival guide for you to make your date count:

1. Get a nice virtual background, I mean, seriously. You don’t want either your dirty underwear hanging around or your naked roommate in the background.

2. If you haven’t already, practice your “soul-gazing” skills. Waking up two minutes before your scheduled “Zoom date” and have no time to dress up? Put on your mask and there you go — boom! Your charismatic gaze leaves so much room for imagination.

3. Watch out for any potential pranks from your roommate, just in case he/she makes weird noises to draw attention. Communicate so your date is less likely to be crashed.

4. Don’t waste money on deodorant or perfume.

5. Don’t waste time shaving.

6. Perhaps the bonus you get from quarantine dating is that it saves you from dressing up — you can wear sweatpants and your date will never know!

7. Practice putting on a good smile at all times — you never know when your video might freeze and your partner will get a bad screenshot of your face.

8. Strategically use “internet instability” to excuse yourself, particularly when your date throws some hard questions at you. Claim that your internet is wonky and win some time to formulate a good answer.

9. Do NOT multitask. If you are wearing glasses, they sell your secrets by reflecting what is on your screen if it’s not the Zoom page.

10. Lastly, make sure you hit the leave button after your date, or else your date might hear you talking trash behind their back ... Oops.