Dining Halls Start Serving AVOCADOS, Saving Students from Guac-Bottom Pits of Despair

Author: Katharine Flanagan


In a move some are calling “the biggest improvement since women were admitted,” Notre Dame Campus Dining began serving avocados in the dining halls last week.

The decision came after the administration reviewed a campus-wide survey about food options for students. According to dining hall manager Jeff Harley, this is the first time in almost a decade that the results were taken into account.

“I love empty promises as much as the next person, but eventually you have to follow through so students still have some faith in us, some hope that we will listen to their suggestions.” But, so far, the addition has given students more than just hope.

For sophomore Julia Belle, it couldn’t have come soon enough. “I don’t even have to think about what I get at the dining hall anymore,” Belle said. “It saves so much time. I just go in, grab an avocado and then fill it with guacamole from the Mexican station. The smoothness of the avocado combined with the creaminess of the guacamole is to die for.”

Belle paused to pull an avocado from her bag. As she bit into its tender skin, I couldn’t help but observe her belongings: an avocado t-shirt, socks and laptop sticker jumped out at me. “If you think this is excessive,” she told me, “you should see my dorm room.”

In the few days since the implementation of this change, professors have already seen a change in the morale and intellect of their students. “The mental health of students has clearly improved. I’m hesitant to say this, but they almost seem relaxed, happy and stress-free,” professor Andrew McGinnis says. “I wouldn’t be surprised if the overall GPA increased as a result of this.”

When asked about his personal views regarding the avocados, McGinnis expressed nothing but admiration: “I bought a meal plan yesterday. I never had one before, but the avocados change everything.”

As for what’s next, “the students want berries,” Harley says. “But I don’t know, there’s just something so appealing about leaving a little something to be desired.”