Father Pat McCormack Personally Funding Vine II: The Resurrection

Author: David Korzeniowski

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It’s back. 22 months later, it’s back. Grab your friends, your props and your creativity because Vine is back.
During a TV timeout in the fourth quarter of Notre Dame’s game against Florida State, Rev. Pat McCormack, C.S.C. made a surprise announcement on Notre Dame Stadium’s videoboard. “I am personally funding Vine II: The Resurrection,” he said.

The stadium erupted.

“That’s the loudest I’ve ever heard that stadium, by a lot. What the hell is a Vine anyways?” Rich Everett class of 1933, said.

Following the game, some 2,000 Notre Dame students immediately joined Moreau Seminary.

“I feel like this was a great opportunity for me to reach a younger audience,” McCormack said. Whenever I pass students in the library, I see them watching Vine compilations on YouTube. I thought to myself, ‘I do that too!’ Vine is a common language that connects priests with today’s youth.”

Since the announcement, several Notre Dame students have become Vine-famous, including sophomore Jillian Gill. Her most well-known Vine came when she poured South Dining Hall’s beef pot roast on herself, climbed on a table and screamed, “I smell like beef!”

“That was legitness,” junior Dillon Dunne said. “I felt like I was second-hand famous because I was on a dining hall date when she filmed that.”

Vine II: The Resurrection has affected more than just Notre Dame’s social scene. Apparently, there is talk within the administration of instituting a Vine major, with classes taught by Nick Colletti and King Bach. Additionally, high school seniors applying to Notre Dame will be allowed to submit their five best vines instead of the Common App essay.

“We want to get to know who these students really are,” an anonymous admissions officer said. “Also, reading cliché essays gets boring after a while.”

It’s back, folks. Enjoy.