Lenten season is underway, and it’s time to be choose what to give up and how to tell everyone you know, have ever met or driven next to on the freeway. Don’t miss these three tips to truly make the most of your metaphorical 40-days-in-the-desert.
Sophomore Kathryn McQuillen arrived at South Dining Hall at 6:34pm on Thursday evening, four minutes late for her previously decided upon meal time with classmate Isaac Hallums.
After a grueling 34-31 loss to Virginia Tech, senior Trevor Green returned to his dorm and simply “got on with his day,” sources close to Green report.
GOD QUAD – While walking to his Business Law class in Debartolo, sophomore Derek Tinsley saw a Saint Mary’s student entering Nieuwland Science Hall. The SMC student, senior Lacy Miller, did not make eye contact or do anything to indicate that she even noticed Tinsley’s presence, but Tinsley says he is sure there was more to her straight-ahead gaze.…
Lamenting that low record sales have, until recently, precluded the group from making a new album, presidential hopeful Dr. Jill Stein expressed what she called “utter glee” in response to the traction her 90s band has been receiving lately. “Ever since John Oliver covered it on Last Week Tonight, our Circuits to the Sun…
TAOS, NM – Announcing to a customer service representative that he was “asking for a friend,” presidential candidate Gary Johnson was seen walking into a local New Mexico grocery store earlier this week to apply for a shopping rewards card.
“So, hypothetically speaking, could someone ever be rejected from the rewards program?” the former governor, last seen donning a Bob Marley t-shirt at a UNM dorm party, asked.…
Assuring his fellow classmate that “the brotherhood really makes it worthwhile,” freshman Hank Stevenson suggests that he really doesn’t mind having only one functioning showerhead on his floor.
Proclaiming that He is “really starting to question that whole ‘free will’ thing,” our good Lord has ordered an early snow this fall in response to the College Republicans’ recent endorsement of Donald Trump for President.
Though He remarked that He did enjoy reading some of the comments on the group’s Facebook post, the Divine King admitted to accidentally setting a cornfield ablaze in Kansas while reading the pronouncement. …
It’s 1:30 a.m. on a Tuesday night, and you’re winding down for bed before your 9:25 tomorrow morning. You hop in bed, annoyed that your roommate isn’t even turning off the bedroom light and using the less-bright lamp by the futon to keep studying. You try for a few passive aggressive yawns, hoping she’ll go study in the section lounge, but she remains unmoved by your show of fatigue.…
STANFORD HALL — College of Engineering sophomore Keith Richardson’s perspective on life has been completely uprooted by a Viewpoint article published in the Observer last Tuesday, sources report. Before reading the 3,000-word grandiloquent behemoth rife with both condescension and conviction, Richardson said his opinions lay on the complete opposite side of party lines. However, the path only begins here.…
Spring Break simply can’t come soon enough.
THEO 20120 – The Lord at Liam’s: Finding Christ at the Student Health Center
It’s the second week of school — perhaps the most important week of your life — and it’s all culminating in this glorious moment: Activities Night.