GOD QUAD – While walking to his Business Law class in Debartolo, sophomore Derek Tinsley saw a Saint Mary’s student entering Nieuwland Science Hall. The SMC student, senior Lacy Miller, did not make eye contact or do anything to indicate that she even noticed Tinsley’s presence, but Tinsley says he is sure there was more to her straight-ahead gaze.

“She didn’t look at me, but her heart has been looking for me her whole life,” the sophomore Domer says. “Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s been interested in me all semester.”

Haling from Lansing, Michigan, Tinsley is a finance major from Keough Hall. He says he has spoken to at least twelve women during his time at Notre Dame, including three Saint Mary’s students.

“They were all pretty into me,” he says, explaining that one even went so far as to ask him what his major was.

Tinsley has since reached out to friends, family, the Class of 2019 Facebook page and SMC professors to learn the identity of his alleged admirer. Stating that she’s “pretty cute,” Tinsley says he would take her out on a date and begin a serious, multi-year relationship with her if he “absolutely had to,” but that “it’s whatever.”

Despite going to a completely different school, being two years his senior, not knowing his major and never talking to him, “Lacy is evidently unable to resist the orbit-like pull of my looks, intelligence and job prospects after graduation in two and a half years,” Tinsley says. “You know, I’m starting to think that I’m the reason she even went to Saint Mary’s.”

“I came to Saint Mary’s for the community, great education and scholarship I received upon admission,” Miller, a biology major from Brea, California, says.

When asked if she ever hangs out around Keough Hall, she confirmed that she does not.

“Wait, what is this interview for?” Tinsley, who has begun passing by the Sweep’s Grotto bus stop on all of his walks back to Keough, says that the Grotto is “basically on the way back” from Debart anyway.