ICEBREAKER:
Notre Dame Alum Jadin O'Brien Makes Olympic Debut
2026 Winter Olympics Overview
On Feb. 6, Italy was lit up a little extra for the Opening Ceremony of the 2026 Winter Olympics, bringing nations together in support of...
News
Sarcastic: Which Country Should the U.S. Occupy Next?
A Helpful Guide for the Modern Empire Builder
Sarcastic: Coyle Hall Election Fraud
For many Notre Dame residence hall communities, hall election season is a time of joy, excited anticipation and hope for the future. However, for one...
Sarcastic: Campus Safety to Add OKTA VERIFY to All Campus Buildings
In response to increasing safety concerns, Notre Dame Police Department (NDPD) has announced they are shifting to a new procedure for the 2026-2027 academic school...
Culture
Where Should the St. Paddy's Day Darty Go?
Weeks of worry subsided a few Saturdays ago when the fine people of Legacy Village successfully hosted the Saint Patrick’s Day Darty. The event had...
Sports
From South Bend to Switzerland
Notre Dame juniors Danny Nelson and Cole Knuble didn’t have your average Christmas break.
Now granted, they rarely ever do. As forwards for the Fighting...
Jeremiyah Love to the Arizona Cardinals
Jeremiyah Love Selected as the Third Overall Pick in the 2026 NFL Draft
Full Circle City: Nebraska’s Fred Hoiberg named AP Coach of the Year
INDIANAPOLIS – Nebraska men’s basketball coach Fred Hoiberg was named the Associated Press Coach of the Year on Friday, April 3 in Indianapolis.
Born in...
Humor
SURVIVOR: NOTRE DAME
The hit competition reality show “Survivor” first crossed our television screens in 2000 and has been on air ever since, with its...
Story of a Semestr-ationship
We’ve all experienced him before. The guy who sat in front of you on the first day of lecture, whose dark brown eyes and perfect...
Sarcastic: Top 5 and last 5 dorms as yelp reviews
First place:
Ryan Hall
Stars 5/5
(As a member of Ryan hall I am of course not biased AT ALL). I have met some of...
Sarcastic: What Happens in the Carriage Stays in the Carriage
(In a British Accent) Dearest Gentle Reader,
It is with the greatest sense of duty that we address the Ton, and this author once again...
Sarcastic: Turning Point ND’s All-American Revue Offers an Alternative to the Keenan Revue’s Woke Agenda
Fratres in Christo or Fratres in Sin? Last month, Stepan Center filled to capacity once again for the 50th annual Keenan Revue. Keenan Hall put...
The Peculiar Rituals of the Emad Erton Tribe
I have spent the past several weeks immersed in the culture of an exotic tribe, isolated from the rest of civilization in a region known as...
Ring by Spring for Dummies
As Notre Dame students fall for “false spring” year after year, there is one second-semester phenomenon they can always rely on: ring by spring. The...
Sarcastic: Notre Dame Secures Playoff Position By Joining the SEC
The Irish have finally made a phone call that Matt Barrie has been begging to make on our behalf for months. Barrie’s comments, followed by...
100% Legit Student Club Recommendations!
Hey! Have you ever wanted to join a new student club at Notre Dame? ME TOO! I’ve put together some completely accurate and factually correct...
Letter from the Editor: Sarcastic
At long last … we can begin. You and I … we are going to do such beautiful things together,...