First place:

Ryan Hall

Stars 5/5

(As a member of Ryan hall I am of course not biased AT ALL). I have met some of the most wonderful, precious, smart and driven women in Ryan Hall. I have seen Tuesday night cookies at FJs (our priest in residence and one of the sweetest people you will ever meet) quite literally save the spirit of so many students. People make the pilgrimage from the north side of campus during the winter at 11pm just for this coveted event… that tells you all you need to know.

Second place:

Keenan Hall

Stars 5/5

Coming fresh out of the Keenan Revue all I can say is that it was ELECTRIC. The skits: hilarious, the singing: amazing, and the ‘dancing’: I can only aspire to perform the Tears choreography as well as the shirtless men on that stage. Despite the Keenan basement being a maze to navigate, any place that breeds such an entertaining night is worth the headache.

Third place:

Badin Hall

Stars 4.7/5

Every time I pass by Badin, I can't help but admire their balcony and I just know some deep heart to hearts have happened there. Also, all of the Badin women I have met have been completely gorgeous. In the process of writing this article I of course had to consult a very trusted source (my roommate) and when I simply mentioned Badin, completely unprompted, she said ‘the girls there are GORGEOUS.’

Fourth place:

Duncan Hall

Stars 4.5/5

As a fair journalist, I ought to confess that as a member of Ryan Hall, Duncan Hall is indeed my brother dorm. Duncan is where I made some of my first friends on campus and where I learned how to play pool—albeit poorly—and only won because some of the guys there were worse than I was. However the pool table is now gone so that has lowered the rating a bit…Fifth place:

Pasquerilla West Hall

Stars: 4.3/5

For some this may be a very unexpected pick, however before you roll your eyes and skip over let me explain. Located directly across from North Dining hall (the better dining hall these days) and Hesburgh Library (making it the place to be when the Sunday scaries hit), P-Dub residents wake up closer to productivity than the rest of us will ever be. Also filled with the sweetest girls ever, despite it not being a newer dorm, the girls around you will make it feel like home. Honestly, it’s a hidden gem that deserves way more credit than it gets.

Fifth to last Last:

Keough Hall

Stars 3.5/5

This might come as a surprise to a lot of you—and by that I’m referring to the women who haven’t been over to Keough Hall, aka about 90% of women on campus. Jokes, this is mainly based on experiences in dorm parties where the ratio was ‘horrendous.’ Despite the dear, dear friends I have made in this hall (some of whom I cherish more than others), whenever I enter Keough I feel… watched. The kangaroo mascot is iconic, despite being old, and the chariot race is entertaining, though it often feels more for the members of the hall than for spectators. Keough’s location isn’t much, except for its proximity to South. However there are still halls closer to the now worse dining hall, and for some reason the second floor in particular puts me quite on edge, there’s a noticeable level of performative energy up there.

Fourth to last:

St. Edwards Hall

Stars: 2.5/5

With this rating I recognize I’m giving up any hope of being invited to the yacht dance by any of the eligible bachelors of St.Eds, but for better or worse my journalistic streak to report the truth (by that I mean my opinion) can’t be corrupted. Steds gives the energy of an 80-year-old millionaire who everyone keeps flirting with, not because they actually like him, but because they’re hoping to get written into the will. In this case, the “inheritance” is the coveted Yacht Dance. Would you visit? Maybe. Would you move in? Only if you’re really committed to the bit.

Third to last:

Siegfried Hall

Stars: 2/5

It’s interesting to note that the Siegfried stereotype is the first thing many people in other dorms know about Siegfried. It’s an older dorm and in the exclusive PE, P-Dub, Knott Hall friend group. If you go to Siegfried the only reason would be to see a friend, and many of the guys I’ve met are quite welcoming. I can only speak for myself when I say I have found most of the stereotypes to fit and many can be spotted at North always willing to offer a wave no matter what they are in the middle of doing.

Second to last:

Carroll Hall

Stars: 2/5

Hear me out, I know some of you think this rating should be lower: Yes, they are called the Vermin; yes, they do commit to the part by bleaching their hair; and yes, no matter where their class is, it will always take ages to get there. But the courage it takes to get up, look at themselves in the mirror and step outside to make the long trek… Every. Single. Day.… My hat goes off to the Carroll men.

Last:

Coyle Hall (or is it Fisher?)

Stars: 1.5/5

The bad hairdos are giving Carroll men wannabes, but instead of embracing the 2 months ahead of them where they will constantly have a bad hair day and purchasing a hat ASAP, some convince themselves they can rock the new hair while not fully committing to the bit, so it lands somewhere between “bold statement” and “please reconsider.” I have witnessed a girl last year plead with her boyfriend not to get the mohawk, let’s just say she did not stay and watch as a senior with a huge smile on his face that I have only previously seen on kids in candy stores, took the razor and just went at it. You want to respect the risk, but your eyes will need a moment to recover. Despite the daring fashion choice, you can’t help but feel bad as they are still searching for a home.