↑ Christmas Music
Real Christmas stans have been listening since July.
↓ Thanksgiving Travel
South Bend airport should fly direct to everyone's hometown.
↑ Winter Fashion
Serving Hallmark movie protagonist realness.
→ Spotify Wrapped
It's fun until you find out other people listen to music
↓ Finals
A final paper AND a final exam violates the Geneva Conventions.
→ Dawn of Winter
Peppermint truthers, rise!
↑ Jumbotron Baby
This baby better get automatic admission to ND in 17 years.
↓ Three-night Halloween costumes
How bad did that onesie smell on Sunday morning?
→ Halloween Snow Day
No one can see my Halloween costume under my puffer jacket.
↓ Electric Skateboards
Please reference the 2023 Mendoza fire.
↑ Fall Break
Here's to catching up on sleep ... unless you headed down to Nashville.
→ Inflatable costumes at football games
Sure, it's funny, but no one behind you can see the field.
↓ Heat waves
Attending a historic university is cool, but so is air conditioning.
↑ Fall Flavors
Pumpkin spice and everything nice.
→ NDXLULULEMON
For the small price of $100, you will get a cute, monogrammed shirt and twin with every female on campus.
↓ Ohio
All Ohioans do is play football, eat skyline chili and lie.
→ Sam Hartman's Beard
We'd love to see more of that beautiful, beautiful place.
↑ Second Floor LaFun
New and imrpoved with contactless bathroom doors.
↓ Norovirus
A brush with non-alcohol-induced vomit.
↑ Fat Tuesday
Love the king cake.
↓ Punxsutawney Phil
Doesn’t look like winter to me.
→ Valentine’s Day
Great for lovers, not for loners.
→ Grubhub Robots
Pure controversy.
↑ Junior Parents’ Weekend
Welcome to Newfs, ‘rents.
→ Meatless Fridays
You win, vegans.
Halloween on a Monday
That calc exam was EXTRA scary.
Sunny and 70 in November
Pre-permacloud vitamin D.
Fall break game sandwich
That was chaotic.
World Peace Plaza finished
Almost.
Las Vegas
Make your own judgment.
Broomball
The season is upon us.
Midterm papers
At least they're not exams?
The Weather
Snow on Halloween?
TheWeek@ND
Who decided on a new format?
Presidential Debate
Not only the Poli Sci majors are excited.
Three November Home Games
It’s too cold for this.
Christmas Carols
Not in November
Swiping into Hes
Library Parietals?
Thanksgiving
We need another break.
The Flu
Wash your hands please.
Duncan Head Sculpture
We still don’t get it.
Fall Break
It’s coming.
Midterms
Don’t get too attached to your GPA.
3 Straight Home Games
Sunday scaries.
Electric Skateboards
Stop flexing.
Fall Weather
#Sweaterszn
Late Easter
When’s break? Need to be resurrected.
Hockey
There’s always next year. Again.
Leggings Pride
Show those “blackly naked rear ends!”
April Fools
I’m not laughing...
Modern Market Breakfast Hours
Breakfast doesn’t end at 10:30.
Sayonara, Seniors
We hate to see you leave, but we love to watch you go.
ICPAs
Taste this first place!
Jokes about the weather
We get it. It’s cold.
DPAC events
Show Some Skin, Stupid Humans and Renée Elise Goldsberry. We’re so inspired.
Prospies
They’re infiltrating the dining halls.
Men’s basketball
Yikes.
[RIGHT] No more FYS
Good, but Moreau survives.
[RIGHT] NDPD
No one cares.
Keenan Revue
Worth the lines this year.
Tapingo
$1.00 service fee???
Existentialism
Nothing matters.
Midterms
More diverse candidates elected!
Midterms
We didn’t vote for three rounds of tests.
Christmas Carols
Don’t jump the gun.
No More Football
The countdown to New Mexico begins now.
Thanksgiving
A holiday entirely dedicated to food.
Fire Drills
It’s getting cold outside.
Duncan Head Sculpture
A tad strange.
Football
Winning is fun!
Fall Break
Was it really a break?
Garth Concert
Freezing but fun.
Cold Season
The WORST!
Halloween
Start shopping, folks.
Winter Is Coming
Brace yourself.
Football Season
2-0 for the first time since 2015.
NDTOGO
No more 15-minute wait at Starbucks.
Meme Page
Step it up, folks.
Lime-S Electric Scooters
We love the idea, but where are they?
New Waddick's
Not a fan, but thanks for keeping the old booths at least.
Inside Scholastic
New monthly news show following every issue!
Potential Changes to Waddick's
The gentrification of O'Shag has begun.
Winter Olympics
The four-year countdown to start caring about curling begins once again.
Explosions
Usually not something you want to have on campus.
Ring by Spring
We need to get rid of this phrase. It's absolutely terrifying.
Giving up sweets for Lent
God must get tired of this one right?
DuStu Food Hours
Please, please, please, PLEASE close later than 10 p.m.
Spring Break
At least that's almost here!
Warm Weather in January
I guess Global Warming is real!
Copy Editing
Sorry comma Rohit period
Leaving Jumbotron on all night
Friday All Night Lights?
Unsalted Sidewalks
Just taste bad :(
Power Outage
At least we had a reason to not do homework.
Duncan Student Center
The nickname debate is tearing us apart.
Keenan Revue Line
I can't believe I waited two hours...I thought it was the Starbucks line.
South Dining Hall
Don't you forget about me.
Duncan Student Center
Welcome to my house.
Thunderstorms
Bad for football games; worse for tailgates.
Midterms
They don't end until finals. LOL.
Daylight Savings Time
I didn't use that extra hour of sleep anyway.
Thanksgiving Break
I feel tricked.
Free Hats
The only time Notre Dame has ever given something free to its students.
Heat Waves
I was enjoying the fall (for all two days of it).
New Hires
Long live the Keough School.
Notre Dame Forum
If anyone can teach me how to take midterms, it's a White House Chief of Staff, or two.
Notre Dame Town Halls
Starting to make me dread midnight emails.
Mass Emails
First a junior, then an administrator, who's next?
Glare in the Stadium
Maybe someone should've thought about the sun.
Fall Break
At least that's almost here!
South Dining Hall
This is the dining hall that didn't need any changes.
Jenkins & Nanovic Halls
Well worth the walk.
Flex Points
We always appreciate having more...
Flex Points
...but not when they don't roll over from semester to semester.
LimeBikes
Convenient when you can find them...if you can ever find them.
Reckers' New Hours
How are we supposed to stay awake now?
New Dining Hall Rules
Because some days you need to swipe in more than three times.
Finals
Sorry for the reminder, all
Easter Break
Even if you're staying on campus #ShoutoutSDH
Fencing and Hockey
Let's be real, we've been a fencing school for a while now
Notre Dame Day
Has it already been a year?
Ultimate Frisbee Club
Don't call it a comeback
PigTostal Shirt
Pig Looking Forward to Being Eaten After Humiliation on PigTostal Shirt
Opening Day
Nothing marks spring like Cubs fans who won't shut up
Spring Midterms
Spring Break is so close...yet so far.
Early Warm Weather
Please don't let the cold back in
March Madness
It's the most wonderful time of the year
Holy Half Marathon Training
Braving the elements one mile at a time.
Shamrock Shakes
They're alright I guess
Spiders
Why are they always around?
JPW
Pulling out all the stops for the parents.
Two-Step Login
Step One.
Darties in January
Thanks, global warming.
Lyft
The War on Cabs continues.
Uber
Still here.
Six Dollar Footlongs
Not as good as five.
Two-Step Login
Step Two.
Extra Flex Points
(Apologies to our off-campus editors.)
The Snowball Fight
Slushy and perhaps premature
Extra Flex Points
Catch me balling out at the Huddle
End of Football Season
Thank God that nightmare is over
Library Scholar’s Lounge
Ooh you think you fancy huh?
Advent Calendars
Purple is my color but pink isn’t
Gift Giving Responsibilities
I’m broke
17 Days Until Christmas
SANTAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
Parking
More like FAR-king
Fall dome photos
Can I paint with all the colors of the wind?
Barbici delivers now
'Italian street food' more like 'my couch food'
NOVO-ing season
Getting sweaty just thinking about it
Campus Crossroads
Still a thing
NDH Renovations
Stop making employees direct traffic
60 days until Christmas
That's basically two ABC Family '25 Days of Christmas' marathons
Falling Temperatures
C'mon, just a little more sunshine...
iOS 10
This messaging app is something, huh?
Fall Break
Time to head home and wish your friends were off school too.
Midterms
Where are my reading days?
The Rise of Pumpkin Spice
If you can dream it, you can pumpkin spice it.
Bad Halloween Costumes
My guess is at least three Trumps per party.
MLB Playoffs
Baseball is almost over, guys.
O’Safety Walk
Who can keep up?
Smashburger
Burger who?
Bike Locks
A vital defense in peak bike-treeing season
Sausage Party
A brutal movie
Campus Crossroads
We’re making progress.
iPhone 7
Why no headphone jack, Apple? Why?
Frank Ocean
His new album, “Blonde,” is an absolute beauty.
April Snow Flurries
Get it together in spring.
Blue-Gold Game
GOOOOO IRISH!!!
Summer in Sight
So close, yet so far.
Holy Half Cancelled
Looks like you'll just have to run two next year.
Major League Baseball
You and your grandpa have something to talk about again.
Bad DART Times
The only time 7:55 a.m. is super late.
Reading Days
Great for catching up on everything but reading.
Spring Midterms
Spring Break is so close ... yet so far.
Lenten Sacrifices
Self-control is good.
The Periodic Table
Who knew it could be a song? Thanks, Hunter.
Holy Half Marathon Training
Braving the elements one mile at a time.
The Revenant
A compelling silent film.
ND Tuition Increase
Six figure price tag coming soon.
JPW
Pulling out all the stops for the parents.
Finals Week
Just remember that syllabus week is right around the corner
Secret Santa
The best way to quanitfy your friendships
Fiesta Bowl
Everyone can fiesta about an Irish vs. Buckeyes matchup
Chipotle E. Coli Outbreak
Don't take any chances...even for a burrito
New Year's
It can't quite top Christmas
Senioritis
Except you don't want to leave college
SDH Christmas Dinner
The one night when you can actually eat the meat
Notre Dame's SUB Concert Series
We attract the best students, but unfortunately not the best artists
DeShone Kizer
Best Irish QB since Brady Quinn?
Return of ND Basketball
Hallelujah
Colder Weather
That grass won't be visible for long...
Christmas Music
Already hearing faint traces of Mariah Carey
Debate Moderators
Might as well just ask the audience
Thanksgiving Dinner
'Tis the season of much gluttony
Clemson's "Southern Hospitality"
They don't have any...
Speaking from experience.
The Budding Social Media Presence of Scholastic
Awesome.
Halloween in DTSB
Thriving metropolis.
SnapChat Update
So much worse than your worst selfie.
Job/Internship Search
Don't make me adult. I don't want to adult today.
Midterm Season Arrives
... Moment of silence...
SDH Burger Bar
It's really just the same patty with bacon ... but it's so much more exciting.
Junior Parents Weekend
Teaching your mom how to Wobble is great. Drunkenly carrying her back to the hotel is not.
Graduation Moved to the Stadium
Senior frowns moved to the smiles.
“American Sniper” Doesn’t Win Best Picture
Something tells me that the movie producers who made $300 million aren’t too concerned.
Midterms Week
“oof”
Hall Government Elections
No new policies, but at least your posters give us something to read in the bathroom.
Jewell Loyd Defeats Jerian Grant at H.O.R.S.E
She also had way better smack talk than he did.
The Final Issue of the Current Scholastic Staff
As we weep, Judgment Call readers everywhere rejoice.