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We’re all too familiar with it: Notre Dame just scored another touchdown. It’s only the second quarter and we’re already ahead of our opponents by 28 points. For some reason or another, nobody around is able to stand upright. You watch in anticipation for the inevitable: the extra point. The kick is good! The time for it has come.
You look around for the easiest person to launch into the air for 35 touchdown push-ups; for some reason it just so happened to be the 6’2 pure-muscle boyfriend of your 5’1 friend? It’ll be his fault in the end. You and the surrounding group of poor unfortunate souls assume formation. If only the hardest part were getting him up into the air. Nevertheless, the people at his feet begin to raise them up as those across him hold his chest steady.
Unluckily for you, you ended up right in the middle, grabbing his navel! As you start throwing this man into the air you notice the people at his chest are having significantly greater difficulty than the people at his legs. Meanwhile his stomach is not nearly solid enough to even establish the grip necessary to throw something, let alone a 20-year-old man.
Of course the entirely unhelpful friend decided that there were enough people on push-up duty and instead took pictures of this comical effort. They turn out blurry. All the while, you’re greatly struggling to actually push up some dead weight. In the end it all resembles the worm more than any push-up.
Once you hit 35, you still can’t wait for the next touchdown. This is one of Notre Dame’s most cherished football traditions, after all.