Student Wonders If It Would Be Possible to Write in Corey Robinson

Author: O'Neil, Alison

Faced with what he considers a grim selection of presidential candidates, freshman Charlie O’Connor was spotted wondering aloud if he could nominate Student Body President Corey Robinson for the presidency.

“I mean, you have to be at least 35 to be president,” mused 18-year-old O’Connor, who will be casting his first-ever vote on November 8th. “But on the other hand ... Corey Robinson still has more political experience than Trump, and he’s probably never deleted 33,000 important emails.”

“My friends think I’m throwing my vote away, but I don’t really care,” O’Connor went on. “Corey Robinson is a great guy, and I’m like 100 percent positive that he knows where Aleppo is. Gotta get behind someone who understands geography, you know?”

O’Connor reported remaining hopeful that Robinson would make it to the White House. At press time, however, his most recent Google search — “Likelihood of meteor strike before November 8th” — indicated that he’s considering for other options.