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I would consider myself to be a mostly responsible student. I go to class, do my assignments on time and Google Calendar is my best friend. So when I asked ChatGPT to make me the “perfect” Notre Dame student, I wasn’t looking to completely change my schedule, but instead to optimize it.

ChatGPT’s solution began at 5:45 a.m. The schedule demanded an early morning lift followed by a nutritious breakfast and a review of accounting concepts. Apparently my usual alarm at 8:30 a.m. is not making the cut. The day before, I accidentally chugged an energy drink too late in the day, so I wasn’t able to fall asleep until midnight. After laying awake, I moved my alarm to 7:45 a.m. At 7:45 a.m., I actually did get up and work out. This was a major accomplishment for me, being that I managed to wake up 45 minutes earlier than usual. I am now officially an overachiever. I replaced Chat’s nutritious breakfast with a granola bar and half of an energy drink, which sadly was all I had time for.

By 10 a.m. I was walking to Mendoza for office hours. At least I almost was — until I spotted my friend’s location in the library and decided that checking in on them wouldn’t hurt. I got away with stealing 20 minutes that Chat had not allotted me. Still, I made it to Mendoza a little after 10:30 a.m., where I was able to answer all of my questions. I’m finally ahead of schedule. Feeling like the genius Chat is helping me become, I went back to Hesburgh and studied accounting for another hour before Foundations of Leadership at 12:30 p.m.

After lunch, my roommate invited me to study in Hesburgh. When I got there, I realized I had completely missed the Women in Business cupcake social. My meticulously optimized schedule was officially falling apart. I then noticed another problem: I was supposed to be doing coding and philosophy. Instead, I was so stressed about accounting I absolutely had to keep reviewing. At 4:45 p.m., I took my generous “40 minute break” early so I could lie on my new boneless couch and scroll. Then I went to my 6 p.m. meeting which ended a half hour early. Great! I had recovered some time.

Of course, I immediately lost it again. I went to go pick up my makeup bag that I left in my friend Ellanie’s room. We had “a few things to discuss” and an hour later it was already 8 p.m. According to Chat, I was supposed to be finishing philosophy and planning out some future goals. Cherry on top, I was also supposed to be in bed by 9:30 p.m. I decided to abandon my future and my philosophy reading to write this article instead.

I think ChatGPT forgot to take a few things into consideration when making me the perfect student. One of them was leaving absolutely no space for social interaction. AI might be able to make me more productive — it might even make me a better student — but it cannot optimize the parts of college that make it worth experiencing. Honestly, if being the perfect student means waking up at 5:45 a.m. and being in bed by 9:30 p.m., I think I’ll just settle for being pretty good.