Deepak Chopra Crushed to Learn DPAC Not Named After Him

Author: Liz Hynes

Dpac Exterior"
Photo Courtesy of Lifescript, Wikimedia Commons

In a surprise visit to campus last week, renowned self-help guru Deepak Chopra was met with disappointment upon discovering that the DeBartolo Performing Arts Center, more commonly referred to as “DPAC,” was not, in fact, his namesake.

After receiving the bad news, Chopra cleansed the multilevel, spacious structure with sage mist, meditated on the floor of the recently constructed Philbin Theatre, enjoyed a New Age jazz concert in the enormous Decio theatre, shouted his fears into the abyss of the one-of-a-kind Organ Hall and blasted Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response relaxation videos in the state-of-the-art Browning Cinema.

Screen Shot 2017 03 02 At 3(Photo courtesy of Lifescript, Wikimedia commons)

Hours later, Chopra emerged a new man. “Although I’m disappointed that I was not the inspiration behind this building, these marvelous facilities have sent my sorrows spinning into the cosmos. I would definitely visit this venue again to partake in the many wondrous attractions it has to offer.”

To learn more about upcoming performances and screenings at DeBartolo Performing Arts Center, visit