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March 15, 6:42 p.m. To any other person, this arbitrary time has no significance, and most won't even notice it passing on the clock. For prospective Domers, though, this is the most important 6:42 p.m. of their life. As the clock ticks, the minds of those high school seniors race in anticipation of what awaits them. Accepted, waitlisted or rejected. Accepted, waitlisted or rejected. The anticipation has been building all year, starting with the Common Application in the summer, or later, depending on procrastination levels. It culminates in this one decision, one email that may determine the next four years and the rest of their lives. Soon enough, the clock strikes 6:42 p.m. and email inboxes are opened at a rate faster than presents on Christmas morning. After tearing through a few links, decisions are out. For the lucky few, a celebration will ensue, full of cheers and tears from hard work paid off. Others are left with disappointment at either rejection or a waitlist that is almost impossible to get off. For a select group, though, there is a third emotion: confusion. When a particular set of 75 students open their email, they will be hit with the words, “We are excited to offer you admission to the University’s Gateway Program.”

As a current freshman in the Gateway Program, reminiscing on that day brings me back to a world thrown into a tizzy, with my family and myself filled with questions. First met with hesitancy and skepticism, I was unsure of what my freshman year would look like in this program. The internet provided extremely limited information, and the information sessions provided by the university still left me confused. All I was able to grasp was that the Gateway Program was established 12 years ago, which was why my group was called the 12.0s. We were to live and take most of our courses at Holy Cross College for a year while taking one class and Moreau First Year Experience at Notre Dame. It is dual enrollment in a sense, with participation in sports and clubs being available on both campuses.

In April, the 12.0 cohort was given the opportunity to attend visit days to see and learn about the program. For my family and I, this was our first time stepping onto the campus of Holy Cross College. Known primarily from the movie “Rudy”, Holy Cross, or as the students call it, Hocro Nation, is nestled between Notre Dame and Saint Mary’s. With an undergraduate enrollment of 500, the small school is approximately the size of my senior class at my public high school. From the middle of the campus, one can see all of the dorms, the dining hall, classrooms and the gym. While the basketball courts are faintly out of view, they can still be seen with the stretch of one's neck. From the center of campus, you have the whole school in the palm of your hand.

After this visit day, my understanding slightly increased, and I decided to commit to the Gateway Program. Though somewhat still confused, I at least knew the town where I would spend my next four years. From this, I began to try and plan my dorm life and ran into the problem that had started to become a pattern: limited information. For many of the bigger schools — Notre Dame included — a quick Google search will yield images of dorm rooms, dining halls and more. Vlogs from current students show the day-to-day life of a student and hot takes on which dining hall is better (South feeds the soul but North feeds the stomach). Holy Cross, not so much. Limited pictures from the website built a mental image as I struggled to give the school a proper stalking over the summer. Attempting to buy dorm supplies proved difficult. Despite a two-day orientation over the summer, I still felt lost on the specific amount of clothes and snacks I could fit into my new room.

Now that the first few weeks of college have passed, the dorm confusion has dimmed but my cohort and I are still left with the seemingly unending adjustment to not one, but two college campuses (three if you count excursions to Saint Mary’s). The imposter syndrome is all too real as a Gateway, along with the fear of missing out on traditional Notre Dame first-year student experiences. Introductions prove a sore spot on the first day of classes and clubs, as others proudly name their dorms while we are forced to recite a short speech on what Gateway is and why we live across the street. While upperclassmen are familiar with it, most freshmen require the full explanation.

Alongside this Notre Dame awkwardness, Gateways are also forced to address the confusions of being a temporary Holy Cross student. The most prominent question raised by my cohort is our ability to step on the Holy Cross Seal placed near the entrance of the school. A concept similar to God Quad, stepping on the seal will prevent a student from graduating from the college. For Gateways, though, isn't that the goal? Or will the bad luck transfer over along with us next fall and prevent us from graduating from Notre Dame? Alternatively, if one steps on the grass at God Quad, can the theology class be taken at Holy Cross to avoid failure? These are the questions that plague our unique situation.

Alongside these existential questions, the issue of food also arises. While the grass isn't always greener, it certainly is for us Gateways. Going back and forth between Notre Dame dining halls and Siegfried Dining Hall (or Siggis) at Holy Cross creates a spoiled Gateway student. The small selection at Siggis isn't always bad, with the cooks sometimes whipping up the most exquisite meals (I’m looking at you, Southwest Salad) but when the main meal isn't looking too great, we’re left with slim pickings. One can only eat the burger so many times before it starts to get old.

Despite these troubles, Holy Cross does have its benefits. The small campus, though claustrophobic at times, is helpful when the motivation to walk more than five minutes is gone. The walk to class, dinner, the gym and the dorms is extremely short, saving our legs and shoes from the worst of the college foot aches. Accidently sleep in one morning? You’ll probably still make your 8 a.m. if you walk with gusto. Lateness is quite avoidable when one can wake up ten minutes before class and still make it to the room on time.

Overall, the experience of being a Gateway is a unique one. Though our community looks a little different from that of a typical first-year student, we persevere nonetheless as a part of the Gateway legacy. Experiencing the tri-campus in such a way makes this small town a little bigger and makes faces more familiar. Despite our original stresses and confusions about what it means to be a Gateway, we have now come to see what a privilege it is to experience college in such a distinct way.