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For someone who doesn’t think about who I’d want to date much, I sure think about the dates themselves an awful lot. Frequently, when I’m trapped in the musty back corner of 117 Hayes-Healy, scrawling down math equations I can barely comprehend, I give up and daydream about all the perfect dates I’d go on if I could only go outside. I’ve compiled a few of my favorite (and least favorite) first date ideas for your consideration here. I digress.… I’ve only been on four (maybe five; do middle school dates count?) first dates in my life. Whether that makes me qualified or not is up to you. In my opinion, the person matters more than the date itself. If you dislike the person, how will you like the date? And if you really like the person, how will you not like the date? These are purely my takes, so take everything with a grain of (pink) salt.
Best First Dates
Bookstore/Record Store
The setting is cute in and of itself, but there’s an ulterior motive here — when you go with your date to the bookstore or record store, you need to pay attention to what your date is looking for. Watch them. I truly believe you can learn so much (sometimes too much) about someone by looking at them while they look at records (or books). If they’re only eyeing Phoebe Bridgers or Lana Del Rey, maybe you should reconsider if they’re ready for a relationship. If they’re looking at Playboi Carti, you should again reconsider, but for different reasons. Look at if they’re Team Drake or Team Kendrick, and decide for yourself if that’s a dealbreaker. The same goes for books. What do they like? Romance? Sci-fi? If you’re eyeing “Heartstopper,” and your date goes for “A Clockwork Orange,” maybe they aren’t the match for you.
Flea Market/Thrift Shop
Even if you don’t consider yourself a thrifty person, let me try to persuade you of this. What makes the thrift store a lovely choice for a first date is that it yields so, so many options. Firstly, you get a little taste of your date’s sense of fiscal responsibility. Does your date immediately start looking at stainless steel pans and cutting boards? Do they go straight to the taxidermied animals, and if so, should you be worried? If you run out of things to talk about, look for the nearest doll and ask your date if they think it’s haunted. If you really dislike your date, you can hide behind a rack of tiered '80s prom dresses, shoot a text that you got lost and sneak your way out. The thrift shop also lends itself well to impulsive games. How many novelty mugs can you find? What’s the worst (or best) thing you can buy with $5? The options are endless. …
IKEA
Reservations aside, I will truthfully tell you all that the best first date I’ve been on was at an IKEA. The trick is to go on a weekday, when you can avoid all the crying babies and children and married couples bickering over which fridge they want. There’s free coffee if you arrive before 11, and you can meander around with your date in relative peace, looking at displays. The lighting is always good, too. If you’re really into decor like I am, you can probably spend an hour looking at the throw pillows just by yourself. If you get bored, you and your date can grab lunch or look through their tiny Swedish market for obscure fruit jams. Buy your date a stuffed shark from the kids’ section or some $2 ice cream as you exit.
Worst First Dates
While I do think that most dates with the right person will always go well, there are a few scenarios I’ve grown to dislike — some of them controversial. I’ll list them out (along with my reasoning) for your consideration.
First, dinner dates. I think dinner can absolutely (and should!) make a great date, but not a first date. Namely, because if you and your date don’t have much in common, you’re now stuck staring at each other while you wait to order, then for food, then for the check, and there’s not much to do aside from a mutual marination in polite discomfort. Second, movies — you can’t talk to each other at all or even see each other, and it's one of the only situations where I can imagine a first date stretching over three hours of one’s time. Honorable mentions are bowling (how many other people have touched that ball?), escape rooms (too stressful) and beach walks (it is much harder to walk in sand than it looks. I beg you to find some pavement).