Fighting Irish: Bringing Greek Life to ND

Author: Raquel Arista and Santiago Ralston

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Clavicular, the "looksmaxxing" influencer. Courtesy of The New York Times.

YAY!

RAQUEL ARISTA

The University of Notre Dame is known for its vibrant and welcoming social scene. As most students know, a typical weekend has students scrambling to find an off-campus house party in order to avoid being crammed into a six-man with a hundred sweaty people speaking over un-danceable music. Who wouldn’t want to spend their Saturday night discerning which AI-generated Fizz house party poster is real and which one is fake?

There is only one thing Notre Dame is missing to reach its full social potential: Greek Life. Clearly, the solution to our party problems could be solved by paying a few extra thousand dollars a year, uprooting years of university tradition, separating us into rigid social groups, and creating smaller communities out of our already small population.

During Welcome Weekend, instead of being randomly placed into a dorm, students will have the opportunity to prove their worth to upperclassmen. The girls will find out if their Instagram is aesthetic enough to make it into the “top” sorority, and the guys will have to chug several beers and dodge a few hammers to see if they are worthy to make it into a “touse” frat. What a way to build character!

Most importantly, going out would be so much easier. Students would line up in front of a frat house on weeknights and if your assigned Greek letters have enough weight, you're in. And if you were unlucky enough to be put into a “bouse” frat or sorority, you just stay home because you won’t get in anyway.

Greek Life would perfectly align with Notre Dame's commitment to upholding the values of Catholic Social Teaching. Influencers like Clavicular could visit campus and guide fraternity members to help them reflect on how to educate the person as a whole — starting with lessons on how to make your jaw line sharper. If Notre Dame is truly dedicated to attracting mission-driven scholars such as Clavicular who serve the common good, the university can start by implementing fraternities and sororities with social structures that prioritize facial symmetry.

Implementing Greek Life helps students know exactly where they stand through a clear social hierarchy. This way, ND can stay true to its values of community and love of God. If this means paying a few extra thousand dollars, having at least 2,000 followers, and enjoying an occasional visit from Clavicular, it’s worth it to spice up our social scene.

NAY!

SANTIAGO RALSTON

The University of Notre Dame’s Catholic identity would be completely contrary to the presence of Greek life. Our Lady’s University need not sully the Blessed Virgin’s sacred name by cutting lines of cocaine on her grounds. Never mind the fact that students will partake whether or not they find it at the Pike house — what matters is the principle. Our university ought to maintain its mission of forming the students into strong Catholic citizens with sticks so far up their rear-end it comes out the other end.

The argument may be made that Greek life does not serve the sole purpose of getting underaged students drunk (and high for the niche audience), but that it creates community amongst its members both during their time at school as well as after. Fraternities and sororities are brothers and sisters for life; they transcend the bonds of a university name on the diploma. Employers bond with their employees over their shared past at Tri Delta and Pi Kapp. Such a bond being forged at Notre Dame, however, would destroy a key feature of Notre Dame’s identity: its exclusivity. Who else but a fellow Notre Dame graduate with a superiority complex to the heights of Saturn will be able to bond with the students over their times roaming the hallways of Fisher while trashed? Oh wait, I forgot—Fisher won’t exist anymore after this year. Wow, this is a really bad look for the former residents of Flanner and Grace Halls who now have no claim to connection with current students. Nevertheless, my point still stands: Notre Dame does not need anything that will reduce our claim to a “unique identity.” How else will we set ourselves apart from those secular schools if not for our dorm culture (which we still assure everybody else is “kind of like Greek life” anyways)?

Most importantly on this note: the community forged within the residence halls here at Notre Dame does not require a thousand dollar buy-in. We manage perfectly fine without creating chaos at weekly “chapter” meetings over who wore the wrong shade of pink to the day party. The social perils of living with your sisters and brothers in a beat-up house survive just as well! This is perhaps an unflattering picture of Greek life at other universities—it isn’t all petty drama, after all. I agree. Yet even the social benefits of Greek life exist without the arduous rush process. The men here on campus are still tied to fences and force-fed beer. Life in the residence halls here at Notre Dame still fosters lifetime friendships, forged over blacking out and walking each other back to our rooms. There is no need to compromise the sanctity of the university’s dorm culture by introducing Greek life as an alternate avenue for sheltered freshmen to get plastered.

Wait, nevermind guys: I got my acceptance letter from ASU in the transfer portal. I’m about to framemog some frat presidents!