Students, faculty, staff, most beloved and generous donors: Welcome to another year at Our Lady’s University.
You’ve likely already noticed some changes on campus, such as the creation of two new dorms and a new worldclass research facility.
All three buildings stand proudly on our brand new East Quad, the fruit of an unbelievable $2 billion gift from Todd and Marie East of Montreal.
As Campus Crossroads continues to grow near the stadium, usual walking routes may look unfamiliar. Thankfully, our generous donors have greatly improved our commutes. Take advantage of our state-of-the-art O’Malley Hole In The Fence, an astonishing $17 billion route efficiency facilitator donated by our friends John and Betty O’Malley. Alternate routes include Finnegan’s Burrow, a $29 trillion dollar cutting-edge subterranean tunnel extending over 5 meters in length, or the O’Hearn- Mulligan Bike Ramp, a $800 septillion wooden ramp to help our cyclist community members sail over the entirety of the Campus Crossroads initiative.
I look forward to sharing this wonderful year of growth and opportunity with you all.
P.S. Benches on East Quad are available for dedication in exchange for just one firstborn child!
Yours in Notre Dame,
Rev. John I. Jenkins, C.S.C.