Walkers vs. Bikers

Author: Ally Scruggs

Walkers vs. Bikers

Navigating your way to a 9:25 a.m. class on the heavily trafficked paths to DeBart or O’Shag can be pretty tense and stressful. Bikers trying to pass clusters of freshmen girls five-wide often end up taking the road less traveled through the grass. Walkers trying to power walk without looking like fools are usually taken by surprise when a Lance Armstrong, unseen, comes from behind to overtake them. It’s encounters like these, even in the wee hours of the morning, that create a palpable tension between the bikers and the walkers on campus. As someone who has assumed both roles, I am here to bring to light the perspective of the other group, allowing you to walk (or bike) a mile (or a quad) in their shoes. 

Typical ND Walker: “Wow, that girl with the sweet bike is booking it! Oh gosh, she’s coming right towards me. Calm down, slugger! Uh okay I guess I’ll stop walking so she doesn’t hit me?”

Typical ND Biker: “Oh hey, that girl is crossing my path. I don’t think …nope, nah we won’t crash. Wait, why are you slowing down? Um no, do not stop in the middle of the path. Yeah, that is … ill advised. Okay, NOW we might crash. ”

Walker: “Dear God, is she trying to kill me?!  What, is there some physics lecture that you just HAVE to get to? It’s college; NO ONE IS ON TIME EVER! Don’t you dare crush me under your vintage bicycle from hell!”

Biker: “Oh, stop looking at me like you’re a deer, and I’m the irresponsible teen driver who is texting and applying lipstick and drinking a latte who’s going to run you over. I SAW YOU ALL ALONG! I CORRECTLY ACCOUNTED FOR YOUR ANTICIPATED SPEED AND DIRECTION. I’M A PHYSICS MAJOR!!!! ”

Walker: “Yeah, you BETTER put on those brakes!”

Biker: “Okay, I’m barely moving here. I don’t know how much slower you want me to go. Guess I’ll just swerve a bit to the right so I don’t fall off … and now to the left … and right … left … Oh this is so painfully awkward. Cross the path, come on, just cross it already!”

Walker: “Gee, maybe she won’t kill me after all! Better wait a bit to be sure. I’m going to make eye contact with her so she fully acknowledges my presence and power. I think it’s, like, a power dynamic thing. Is that from Dog Whisperer? God, I’ve got to stop watching that show. I don’t even have a dog … Whatever, just keep staring. ”

Biker: “I am OBVIOUSLY not moving right now. Go on. Get to it! Oh good, please DO make as much eye contact as possible. That WILL make this better.”

Walker: “Alright, I’m good. I think I can still make it to psych on time.  Yet another close scrape with death courtesy of a homicidal bicyclist here at Our Lady’s University.  Peace out, fool.”

Biker: “Yeah, that little courtesy wave doesn’t make up for this. Oh three more people want to walk behind you while I’m stopped? I better see y’all hustle! Knees to chest!”