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Notre Dame is undoubtedly a football school; being woken up by the piercing shrill of the bagpipes outside my window at 7 a.m. on my first gameday was a rude awakening — in both its literal and figurative sense. The alcoholic reek of tailgaters, the in-your-face chanting and screaming in the stadium, the genuinely dangerous pushups in the crowded student section, it was an experience unlike any other and especially not one I would voluntarily sign up for as an introvert who is accustomed to being in her own company.

After a long week of assignments, late nights at the library and dining hall food, going out with your friends surrounded by people with the shared goal of losing themselves amongst the crowd sounds like the perfect weekend activity for many students. That’s the stereotypical “college-fun” — loud, messy, lots of people. However, for introverts, there’s nothing less appealing than that. My go-to Friday night activity includes lying in bed, wrapped up in my blanket, and watching YouTube on my laptop. I’ve turned down invites to late-night excursions to the cemetery, day trips to Chicago and even just casual gatherings. I always prefer spending time alone; even throughout the week, I often eat my meals, walk to and from class and study by myself — by choice. Sometimes, I find myself getting nervous whenever I see someone I don’t know well; the debate between whether to wave and say “Hi” or pretend to look at my phone and take a detour to my destination to avoid them is not uncommon.

Don’t get me wrong: Despite how isolating my life sounds, it’s not as bad as I portray it — I love my alone time. People-watching is one of my favorite hobbies, and I am much more productive doing things by myself. There are benefits to being an introvert. You don’t have to always adjust to other people’s schedules or force small talk when the conversation comes to a lull. Be it observing groups of friends chatting over a meal at North Dining Hall or watching my favorite YouTuber on a couch in my section hallway, I’ve never felt lonely.

At Notre Dame, however, sometimes I feel the pressure to join these loud events that are clearly out of my comfort zone. After a week of Notre Dame intros, club kick-off meetings and excruciating small talk, I came to a stressful realization that extroverts have the upper hand in college and in life. Networking and meeting new people, extending invitations, and vouching for yourself comes so much easier to extroverted people who feel comfortable speaking up in unfamiliar circumstances. Meanwhile, introverts like me sweat at the thought of finding group partners in my Introduction to Social Psychology class (which has a grand total of 10 students). I wanted to experience the world of the extrovert: to have a buzzing, exciting social life, to feel at ease surrounded with people and company.

Notre Dame being the party-heavy and social campus it is, the need to constantly put myself out there at these events came to a peak during my dorm’s “Diso” (a dorm bonding party). I debated extensively with myself on whether I should go. “It’s your dorm’s activity, you should go meet some of your dormmates, all you’d do otherwise is rot in your room anyway.” I knew I wouldn’t enjoy it, but I found myself in a senior’s car with some other freshmen, driving over to the venue. The entire time, I watched the other girls chat and laugh with each other, absorbed in their small groups, as I stood awkwardly to the side with a water bottle in my hand. Compared to the jean shorts, green tank tops and gold and green chains some of the girls had on, I looked and felt entirely out of place in my sweats and t-shirt. Not even half an hour in, I left and took the 30-minute walk back to my room, where I finished half a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. This was the first time I felt lonely at Notre.

Throwing yourself into large-group settings, forcing yourself to engage in numerous social interactions and joining countless clubs can take a toll on those who are more quiet and reserved. Yes, I’m definitely missing out on classic college-life activities, and I would love to be part of that world. But, that experience at “Diso” reminded me that you cannot force yourself to become social overnight, and it’s okay to find socializing draining at first. We are told to “put ourselves out there” — that doing so is the only way to discover new opportunities and make the most of the college experience — but there’s nothing wrong with taking it slow. We should get out of our comfort zone and socialize, but dedicating time to ourselves is so crucial for us introverts, who can still thrive and enjoy a fruitful life despite our affinity for solitude.

The definition of fun can vary dramatically depending on the person, and at a party school like Notre Dame, it’s easy to associate “fun” with football games, off-campus parties, weekend trips to Chicago and other social events. But an introvert should not be seen as an antisocial person or half-hearted friend. It’s just a matter of preference. Eating out alone on a Sunday morning can be healing; working alone at the tables on the first floor of Duncan can be productive. It’s part of accepting ourselves and discovering what works for us. As I type away at my computer, sitting alone at a corner table in South Dining Hall during fall break, I’ve never felt more at ease.