To be or not to be (the best roommate ever)

Author: Megan Valley

To be or not to be (the best roommate ever)

Nobody likes being told they’ll be spending the next several months living with some random stranger they know nothing about. Here are some quality tips to help you be the best roommate ever:

Make sure you set at least four alarms each morning to gently ease you and your roommate out of sleep. This is especially effective if your first class is several hours before hers.

If you have long hair, don’t bother ever vacuuming it up. Your shedding hair will add a certain plushness to the rug that your roommate will appreciate in the colder months.

To avoid confusion, assume everything in the fridge is communal. Her milk? No, your milk. This includes the leftovers from that fancy restaurant her parents took her to while they were visiting.

Actually, that policy is good for most things. Just assume anything left out in the open for more than 45 seconds is up for grabs.

To avoid disturbing your neighbors with arguments, just leave sticky notes everywhere with your complaints written on them, keeping things light, quiet and not at all passive-aggressive.

Let your roommate know you care by frequently asking her how her day was. Hunched over a textbook with headphones in is really code for, “I desperately need to make meaningless small talk, and you are my only hope of realizing that dream.”

If you’re having a romantic guest over, refrain from giving your roomie a heads up. Presumably, you and your date will be eating pizza and your roommate certainly wouldn’t mind walking in on you eating pizza all over the futon she bought.