I like to consider myself the loyal watchdog of South Bend’s reputation on campus. My ears perk up when I hear my hometown’s name. The other day at LaFun, the freshmen in the next booth over decided to discuss their dissatisfaction with their college town of choice.

“We actually go to college in the most irrelevant place on earth.”

Big mistake. My head bolted up over the booth. I peered down at them. Words came before thoughts.

“Did you know the car was invented here? Did you know that the St. Joseph River and the Nile are the only two rivers in the world that flow north? Did you know that South Bend used to be just as important as Chicago?”

Was I telling the truth? Who’s to say. Did Abraham Lincoln once call South Bend “his favorite little corner of paradise”? Maybe. Did Condé Nast rank South Bend number one on a list of global vacation destinations? Anything is possible. Is the Fibonacci sequence actually just a map to Rocco’s pizza? Let’s not dismiss it outright.

There’s a non-zero chance that Dante’s “Paradiso” was inspired by the Douglas roundabout. There’s a case to be made that the lost city of Atlantis is buried beneath the St. Joseph River. It’s within the realm of speculation that South Bend might have been considered for the U.S. Capital before D.C. swooped in and stole the show. History is full of mysteries, after all.

I got a call from Rihanna last night. She told me it took her almost 10 years, but she finally finished her album. Guess what it’s called? “Good Girl Gone Bend.” The tracklist includes soon-to-be-hits like “Four Winds & Fenty” and “St. Joe Flow.” You may call this propaganda. I call it love.

And what’s not to love? There’s something for everyone in South Bend. If you’re an adrenaline junkie, you can get your heart pounding by white water rafting down the St. Joe. What a rush! If you’re into the club scene, check out this underground spot called Finnie’s! Into music? See above re: Rihanna. South Bend is the culture. It is the moment.

One thing is for sure: If the aliens invade, I know where they’re stopping first. Area 51? More like Area (code) 574.