The Smirish Smover's guide to free speech

Author: Scholastic Staff

Sarcastic"

We conservatives are proud supporters of the First Amendment.

 

Things that qualify as free speech: Things that DO NOT qualify as free speech:
  • How the left corrupts
  • Aggressive pro-choice rhetoric
  • Ann Coulter arguing to bring back the literacy test
  • Feminist rants
  • Criticisms of prisoners of war
  • Climate “science”
  • Milo Yiannopoulos
  • Maybe that one thing Milo said
  • Locker room talk
  • Discussions of reproductive health laws that don’t adequately include the male perspective
  • Assertions about genetic differences between races
  • “White privilege” classes
  • Calling the left “snowflakes”
  • Saying black lives matter without immediately dropping to your knees and praying for the health and continued wellness of white lives
  • Our ability to invite any speaker we want
  • Protests of the speaker we invited