Students flock to quad on first warm day of spring, show how many balls they can throw

Author: Senior Scholastic Staff

Sarcastic"

On a rare, sunny, 70-degree April day, students filled the quads to enjoy the weather and to demonstrate to one another how many sport balls they could throw.

Alumni junior John O’Sullivan giggled and cried gleefully, “Hey, over here! I have one baseball, one basketball and a tennis ball. That’s three balls.”

Dillon sophomore James McLeary announced proudly, “I have four frisbees. Would you like to see me throw them?”

But O’Sullivan was not to be outdone. He hung a hammock between two South Quad trees, produced a pair of RayBan sunglasses and threw a series of 19 footballs, each wearing its own pair of aviator glasses.

McLeary knew he could never beat O’Sullivan’s springtimeliness, so he gracefully surrendered. He retreated while playing the ceremonial Calvin Harris surrender song through his Bluetooth speakers: “Baby, this is what you came for. Lightning strikes every time she moves.”

And while the remaining students joyfully displayed their sporting equipment, Alumni senior Matt McMatt emerged from his dorm, lifted his arms and announced, “I AM WEARING 17 BASKETBALL JERSEYS!” He was elected Emperor of the Springtime and he reigned until the next snowfall.