Notre Dame senior enlightens classmates on what “real world” is really like

Author: Senior Scholastic Staff

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While appearing via satellite on the Fox News show Hannipy, Notre Dame senior James McGarrity explained that “the real world is going to be a pretty big wake up call” for some of his classmates, and that students who engage in protests are going to be “surprised when they realize what it’s like out there.”

McGarrity, who lives off campus in Inheritance Village, said he was “disappointed in the lack of open-mindedness” protesters showed toward an author who maintains there is a genetic difference in intelligence between the races. “I mean, they’re not going to be able to survive in the real world if they just keep complaining about equality. The real world hates people who talk about equality.”

He became an expert on the real world after approximately 21 years of research, which all started with his upbringing in Winnetka, Illinois, he explained. Between his summer internship in New York and all the “crazy stories” his dad told him, he calls himself “one of the best guys to explain what it’s really like out there.”

He expounded on some of his findings: “You think the real world has ‘safe spaces’? You think the real world has ‘trigger warnings’? Well good luck. That doesn’t exist in the real world.”

He continued: “You think the real world has ‘dining halls’? You think the real world has ‘Sakai’? Well guess what? I’ve seen the real world. And they don’t have dining halls or Sakai.”

He said, “Guess what else? The real world doesn’t have TAs. It doesn’t have dorms. Also, you know the leprechaun? Apparently that’s just a Notre Dame thing. There aren’t any leprechauns in the real world.”

His main objective now, he said, was informing his classmates about what he had discovered. “How are they going to be ready for the real world if the school coddles them? We need to do away with the ‘safe spaces,’ the ‘trigger warnings,’ the ‘dining halls,’ the ‘BioChem classes.’ We’re just training a generation of crybabies,” he said.

“Believe me, those protesters are going to be SHOCKED. I know they're probably used to having everyone agree with them and listen to them complain all the time,” he said on cable news to the Fox News host in front of an audience of 1.3 million. “But they’d better brace themselves for the real world,” McGarrity said with a chuckle.