Students Gone Wild
A guide to classifying classroom stereotypes
Beautiful South Bend, land of river bends and terrible, terrible weather. Whether it is 4,000 degrees or minus 4,000 degrees, one thing is for sure: you have absolutely worn the wrong item.
Following the recent football games, we thought we’d finally see at least a couple of them but it seems their disappearance is permanent. As we walk freely around campus, we women wonder: Is this St. Mary’s?
“I don’t see what the big deal is,” Fr. Jaykins says. “If we keep changing our position, everyone will be happy at some point, right?”
The latest development in this year’s student government elections came early Tuesday morning, when campus media outlets received a press release by the Judicial Council announcing another round of sanctions.
America is abuzz with Winter Olympics fever, the one time every four years they can pretend to care about frolicking in the snow as if it were sport.
In a Second Coming earlier than any theologians could have predicted, our Lord and Savior, Jesus H. Christ, appeared at the semifinals of Bengal Bouts during the week of Feb. 26.
In order to restore balance to the universe following the reinstatement of Grab and Go, North Dining Hall has announced that they will no longer tolerate any eggs on their premises.
What started off as a fun scrimmage game between the men’s and women’s varsity basketball teams last week took a turn when the men’s team was unable to score a single basket.
Hey, have you noticed that new monolith on the south end of campus?
Last month, over 1,000 Notre Dame students traveled to Washington, D.C. for the annual March for Life.
The most shocking story to emerge from Notre Dame’s recent fall break came from sophomore Emmett Conway of Stanford Hall.
Disney recently released a trailer for its latest live-action movie remake; this time, the entertainment company is remaking “A Goofy Movie.” The sure-to-be blockbuster will star none other than Rev. JayJay I. Jaykins, C.S.C. as the main character, Max. Fr. Jaykins scored the role with no previous…
In a recent email that shocked the student body, the Office of the President unveiled plans to create a new research facility on campus.
Chandler Sorin, the younger brother of Fr. Edward Sorin, has taken over the strange, geodesic dome of the Stepan Center and refuses to leave.
According to a new study from a coalition between the Pew Research Center, the CIA and the NCAA, football is indeed a sport.
Thanks to new dining policies on campus, students can now use multiple swipes in one meal period.
On the first day of fall, Notre Dame rolled out its latest initiative to improve student life on campus: pumpkin spice flavored water from the DeBartolo water fountains.
Rev. John I. Jenkins, C.S.C. announced at 4 a.m. this morning that two new retirement communities will be added as part of the university’s new housing plan.
A report published last week by the Pew Research Center suggests that 97% of Notre Dame students who eat at North Dining Hall still have not stopped talking about the renovations.
The full opening of the Campus Crossroads project, originally set to open in spring 2018, has now been delayed by 60 years. Duncan Student Center, Corbett Family Hall and O’Neill Hall will remain closed for the duration of the school year, according to representatives of the project.
While most students enjoyed or even celebrated the recent solar eclipse, this astronomical event has devastated the squirrel population. As of Monday’s eclipse, public health leaders of Notre Dame’s squirrel community have reported rates of blindness as high as 47%.
So I did it. God posed me a challenge, and just like the time with the yogurt, I rose to meet it. I’d like to see a stupid bead of light best me. Ha! It didn’t. And when the time came and all those birds flew in front of the sun, I lifted my naked eyes and beheld it.
While appearing via satellite on the Fox News show Hannipy, Notre Dame senior James McGarrity explained that “the real world is going to be a pretty big wake up call.”
On a rare, sunny, 70-degree April day, students filled the quads to enjoy the weather and to demonstrate to one another how many sport balls they could throw.
“There it was — JESUS H. CHRIST — in some crazy gold cursive script."
For a million years we’ve invited the President of the United States to come speak at your graduation (YOU’RE WELCOME), and you made me break that tradition.
The 2017 Keenan revue was another successful show full of witty jokes, biting satire and half-naked men.
We conservatives are proud supporters of the First Amendment.
Remember Sia dude?
South Bend Mayor Pete Bootijudge quietly asked Thursday whether anyone else had noticed that Notre Dame students had been talking about him kind of a lot lately.